The poison she hides.

Equations of mixed feelings.

2005-08-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

I might be hard to comprehend. Complex.

But is anybody really looking for something simple?

Trust me, I've tried to be plain but it fits me ill.

Maybe I am losing my inspiration, & maybe my mind

is sewn to its side too. Maybe I don't want to give you

another chance because I know that you'll just leave

it abused. & maybe that's the only thing I have ever

wanted to do.

We're halfway to ambiguity but let's not talk about

this now because the words are tangled in my mouth

& I am running on the very last fine thread of burnout.

I have few new words to offer but I've got a collection

of apologies hiding under my tongue.

Time carries itself through every decision I have made

& regret. It tells me that it has no answers but uncertainty

so I should learn to take things as they come & I have

nothing in me that allow me to oblige.

I question & doubt every inch of what I am & fight to

figure out just what it's going to be or I want it to be &

I am in regression trying to find some sort of solution to

this apathy that has grown stale through masked emotions

& trying to let go, which only further provokes holding on.

I feel dull like the throbbing in my knee from last night's

masquerade, & pointless like its outcome.

This is me, tucking hours beneathe my skirt & running away

without a single bread crumb trail to indicate where I might be.
I'll disappear for a day, a week, a month or maybe a year.

Catch me when I'm vulnerable, I live to deceive myself & you.

Goodbye. Y

These things I'll never say.

2005-08-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

So what if I'm no baby bird hanging upon your every word?

/straight faced with misery tonight

It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What's on my mind
If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

-

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say

Guess, I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say.

I'm listening for once. It's the things you said.

MY BABY's DAY.

2005-08-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

Lost the words & prayed for life.
Lost my soul & grabbed the knife.

/13th August

to you, you, YOU! Shiok eh? First NC-16 movie today.
& you look so constipated in this pic. HAHA! iloveyou! Y

You'll always be mybaby. (:

Linger I will not.

2005-08-12T04:48:00.000+08:00

I woke up early just to watch you fly away.

A Different Corner
WHAM!

I'd say love was a magical thing
I'd say love would keep us from pain
Had I been there, had I been there

I would promise you all of my life
But to lose you would cut like a knife
So I don't dare, no I don't dare

'Cause I've never come close in all of these years
You are the only one to stop my tears
And I'm so scared, I'm so scared

Take me back in time maybe I can forget
Turn a different corner and
we never would have met
Would you care

I don't understand it, for you it's a breeze
Little by little you've brought me to my knees
Don't you care

No I've never come close in all of these years
You are the only one to stop my tears
I'm so scared of this love

And if all that there is is this fear of being used
I should go back to being lonely and confused
If I could, I would, I swear

-

/10th Aug 05
6:50PM

01. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Weird. Exceedingly weird.

Willy Wonka's demure voice, pasty complexion,
perfectly bobbed locks & androgynous air seem
to present a reflection of Michael Jackson. I'm
certainly not the only one who has spotted this
resemblance.

(More Chocolates)

But I think I'm the only soul around here who likes
the Oompa Loompas & I simply love Violet's eyes.

Anna Sophia Robb

/11th Aug 05
3:00PM

02. English O Level Oral. Everything was perfect until
I took a step into the examination room. The contrast
of emotions, outside & inside the room was unbearable.
I almost hyperventilated, infront of the examiners.

Overall, I think I did fairly well. (:

/12th Aug 05
10:00AM

03. The BIG day. GCE O Level Mother Tongue results
out today. I've got 3 packets of tissue ready. /cross fingers

Time for School & I haven't had a good night's sleep.

You're not coming in.

Singapore Writers Festival.

2005-08-07T02:38:00.000+08:00

Singapore Writers Festival > 100 word Epic Challange.

This particular entry got my vote. (:

-

Delusion

The girl has been eyeing me ever since I got onto the MRT.
With my height, my good looks, I know I carry a certain
degree of magnetism. If I looked at girls in a certain way,
they never fail to return my look. And I thought my charm
had deserted me - Glances that once would have swiftly
responded to mine had somehow been sidestepping me.
Struggling with my heavy bags of grocery, I returned her
smile, my favorite pickup line swelling at the tip of my tongue.
Then she opens her mouth, "Uncle, you can have my seat!"

-

Beautiful climax.

Off my knees.

2005-08-06T02:03:00.000+08:00

Staying awake to chase a dream,

making the same mistakes again.

Ragdoll
Maroon 5

How ya feelin'?
The day has had its way with both of us
And oh, I've gone out of my way
But I'm not free
From this pain I'm feeling
I was a fool to think someday
You would come around
But no, no, no
I'm not thinking that way

'Cause now i see
You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream

I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in

How's your day been?
'Cause mine has taken strange and ugly turns
But no, no, no
I feel better today
'CauseI'm off my knees

You are not what you seem
You are a mystery to me
Sometimes I just want to scream

I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A heart ready for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore

I think you should just go away 'cause
There's no necessity for you to stay and
Next time you come around my way
Forget it baby
You're not comin' in
A heart ready for a life of sorrow
No you can't come back tomorrow
Shut my windows
Lock my doors
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore
'Cause my heart won't be your ragdoll anymore

I'm having fun slamming this digital Ragdoll about. (Yeah, what's

with me & Ragdolls.) If only I can attach TLK's face to it.

If I fall short, If I don't make the grade,

If your expectations aren't met by me today,

There's always tomorrow, or tomorrow night.

Hang in there baby, sooner or later, I know I'll get it right.

Please don't give up on me.

Such a gracious detail of my being, this is all you'll ever know.

Nothing.

Runaway.

2005-08-04T03:01:00.000+08:00

This world, this world is cold but you don't, you don't have to go.

I HATE THE WORLD TONIGHT.

I'll keep my emotions leashed, but recently, it has been rising near
the killing edge. I feel so tetchy.

The wrinkles at the eyes will start to curl as the sides of the mouth
pulls upward gently to form a smile. But gradually, I'm forgetting how
the wrinkles feel like, & a smile doesn't come so often anymore.

How we take the action of smiling & laughing for granted without
realising that the ingredients for their emergence might not last
forever. People say that when I don't smile, I look like I'm about
to kill someone, & in my eyes, there are anger & a tinge of sadness.
'Looks can kill' applies well here, & in recent days, I've been honing
that skill pretty much.

/this suit of armour I cocoon myself in.
This layer of aloofness & cynicism acts as a shield to protect myself
from redundant emotional hurt. Without the suit, I become assailable.
We open our hearts to that specific person, & with that comes a trust
that the person will not use this string of love to inflict pain. Yet, every
little bump along the road hurts. It wouldn't hurt if someone else
inflicted it, but since that person has a way into our hearts, it hurts
darn badly. Because we're so vulnerable to our loved ones, I choose
to keep this armour on, for as long. Knowing this, will you still wait?

I'm too afraid. Fucking afraid.

Where I can run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere, to the middle of my frustrated fears.
& I swear you're just like a pill, instead of making me better,
You keep making me ill, you keep making me ill.

We raise facades to mask our feelings & I'm tired of the
disappointment behind every true natures. The face is a fake,
but emotions are real.

..2nd 'Fuck' for the night. I hate the way I sound in this entry.

-

Can't forgive, sorry to say, you don't know you're guilty anyway.
Isn't it funny how we don't speak the language of love?

Stinkay old man.

2005-07-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

My eyes are the windows to my soul,
so I shut them & remain whole.

/the world don't care
The act in this article is the most absurd one I'd
seen in a long time. Hunged for being homosexuals?
I'm appalled & disgusted.

/cry me a river
Where is my Guardian Angel? This would be the 2nd time
I'd lost my wallet due to my negligence for the safety of it.
& since it was never returned to me on both occasions, I no
longer harbour faith in Singaporean souls, & believe that
they'll return lost items, in this case, a wallet. If I learnt
anything from this incident, it's not to be so careless (yes, I know)
& never to trust old men! I'm positive that bastard of an
old man made a 'five finger discount' on my wallet.

I've no one to blame but myself, really.

/my worst punishment
1 day after losing my wallet, I arrived at school 3 minutes
late. Perhaps I could've help it but the cool weather was
tempting. My bed was even more seductive. I just couldn't
wake up. What makes being late really torturous is having
to put up with Miss I-have-pungent-breath's singing.
(I'm sure all late-comers share the same sentiment as me)
That woman CANNOT sing for nuts. I thought I was bad,
until I heard her. Damn, that woman really messed up my
mind. Not to forget, my sense of hearing too.

The way you 'shower' on us when you speak, that putrid
stench that escapes from that trap of yours each time you
stubbornly refuse to shut it. That 'cute' bounce in the way
you walk..everytime you come near, I have a strong desire
to put on a gas mask & open an umbrella! God, help.

& if that isn't enough punishment, they got us to buy a CLOCK.
I know, WHAT THE HELL. Stupid school's good at digging our
pockets. Buy this, that, donate here, there, pay this, that, etc.

I'm done with my rant.

My stomach feels funny & I'm running a temperature now.
Good. Maybe my brain'll get fried then I don't have to go to
school & receive your shower of 'blessings'. If each shower
makes me smarter, I'll re-consider.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy!

What.

2005-07-23T02:15:00.000+08:00

A love dipped in anaesthetic; finale of a pen-down.

Sometimes, anger just doesn't describe the scene anymore.
Neither does irritation nor all the rash emotions. All that's
left is a numbing disappointment. I'd walked away from it all
feeling pained, feeling disappointed, but I'm no longer angry.
I guess. I'm still rather uncertain at this point in time.

People rear their ugly heads at the strangest moments.
But anyhow, what had been etched onto the memories
cannot be erased. Question is, is the love strong enough
to maintain some sense of familiarity with the ugly head?
One can only hope, because feelings can't be measured
with a scientific instrument. Instead, I choose to measure
it against sacrifices & compromises.

What you are willing to give up, & what I'm willing to give
you back. It isn't, what you are willing to give up, I will do
the same. Note the difference. Just because you can give
up your friends, doesn't necessary mean I am willing to.

I swore once, no matter how head over heels in love I may be,
or no matter how anyone's charm may make my hormones
rage, it will never get to the point where he/she takes priority
over my friends. It's a no-brainer.

I take time warming up to someone, because more often than
not, I don't trust people enough to share with them everything
I feel. There is suspicion in the air, & the fact that most people
around me aren't primary school children anymore, the seed of
cynicism is deeply rooted. Everyone has motives. Because of
this cynicism in human nature as they grow older, it becomes
increasingly difficult to create relationships or friendships &
discern who my real friends & fair weather ones are.

/Jealousy spreads like poison
If you can actually push aside the jealousy that's engulfed you,
you might just see that what I have become is the result of your
poison for the past few months.

I cannot become your fairytale perfect girl.

-

It wouldn't be long until you realise, that negativity has its way of toying you.

Possessed.

2005-07-20T04:42:00.000+08:00

here's my confession, make me your possession.

Go on just say it; you need me like a bad habit.

"Ambivalent."

2005-07-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

Don't define me, it'll destroy me.

Another discursive essay.
People who really know me well enough to know
some of the things that go on in my life will know
that I trivialize everything important in my blog,
that is, if I blog about it at all.

If I really let you into my life, will you fathom?
If I really wanted to splash my life across here,
I'd lock up my blog & I wouldn't enable comments.
But I'm blogging for an audience here, many of which,
I believe, will have no clue what I'm driving at. Cept
for that few. So I have to step up to the responsibility
of what I write.

I'll never let a ray of dark slip in.

I want to & must catch at least one of these movies. (:

01. The Maid
02. Red Candy
03. The Island
04. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

PS. Willy Wonka looks like Michael Jackson,
possibly worse & more effeminate.

-

So what if you catch me? Where would we land?

Feed me.

2005-07-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

Can you paint a broken heart,
framed with lines of disregard?

Before you read further, Feed an Animal!
There, that wasn't too difficult was it. (:

Ransom notes keep falling out of your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit.

Prisoners in a gilded cage; each & everyone of us.

I'm working on my synopsis for art & it dawned on me
that there are a lot of misconceptions about me. Just what
kind of image am I putting out? I've been judged/conceived
a slacker, a rebel (being most common), a stick in the mud,
a fucking bitch, a smart bitch, sarcastic, strong-willed &
hotheaded. I've heard some people label me all of these.
But what really am I? Am I any of these things? Am I all
of em? I think I'm some of both. & how is this related to
my art? My art's themed on Judgement.

It's funny & frustrating at the same time to see what
people think about me. Or see how they think they know
me but how little they actually know about me.

"So I've got a smile on, but it's hiding the quiet
superstitions in my head."

Should this be taken as insecurity that I'm asking these
questions to myself? Maybe. But maybe insecurity is only
real if you ask the questions aloud. Everyone has doubts
about anything & everything. It's just how well you hide em
that makes you look confident & the more confident you are,
the more double takes you'll get.

-

Judge, Jury, & Executioner.

"..gold-plated taps in his office's bathroom, flew first-class
everywhere on charity expense & takes home a
SGD$600 000 a year."

Sounds like your typical top business executive?
Unfortunately Mr Durai is no ordinary executive;
he runs a charity.

" SGD$600 000 is PEANUTS", said Mrs Goh Chok Tong.

Jumping jellybeans. That's one HUGE nut & the one
who said it is a mega nutcase too. Only good at asking
us civillians DONATE.

Mr Durai's BIGGEST mistake, (that will probably mark
the end of his career), was suing Singapore's only newspaper
company. Any rational person would realize that such media
monopoly can obliterate any reputation. I believe that it was
the entitlement mentality that made him believe he could
defend his position to the public. Bad move, checkmate.

I find it hard to sympathize with him because of 2 main reasons.

Extravagance
It is true he has done lots to get donations. 30 years of
spare funds means an excellent marketing strategy.
But he is running a charitable organisation and the funds
he has in his coffers are from public donations. So who the
hell does he think he is, spending on lavish luxury items on
himself & NKF. GOLD-PLATED taps. Maybe he has a
GOLD-PLATED handshake too.

Hiding the Truth
All this while he has been trying to quell the truth.
His latest futile attempt to sue SPH. His intention not to
correct the figures on the number of NKF beneficiaries.
His attempt to pretend that he did not take First Class.

You hide behind your lies, your little web of deception.
You're defeated. Again, nothing free from taint & ill.

-

Those with my number, please drop me a text.
My dear phone died on me 2 days ago & I had to
reset the hardware & bla. So yes, if you wanna
remain contactable by me, drop a text. I'm definitely
worth your 5 cents. (:

What you want to know.

2005-07-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

You say you want to know,
but do you really want to know?

Touch the scars & feel touched.
Fascination of destruction,
the one I supposedly hold.
Hold so dear, deep within.

Do you really want to know?
No, you want the aftermath.

Carry the flag of the deranged.
My identity?
Such a gracious detail of my being.

Point a light to that tear,
such a lovely accessory on my face.

Raise the Star,
Raise the Flag,
Raise the Tear.

All the lovely details
that make me what you want.

To hell with your Flag,
To hell with your Pain,
To hell with You.

Let's play Hangman,
this is all you'll ever know.

London Bridge.

2005-07-12T23:13:00.000+08:00

London Bridge is falling down, falling down.

I mean, literally. This is so ironic/hilarious.

The Truth. My understanding of truth is that it
isn't always beautiful? But the passion for it is.

All I wanted to do was make you stop chasing
rainbows. Trusting those around you is an easy
thing to do. I'm not saying don't believe in someone
that you think you know. (Note: keyword's 'think'.)
Just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells
the truth.

Why do we spend time trying to understand others,
when we do not even understand ourselves?

I know myself but I most certainly ~~do not~~
understand myself.

The more I talk, the more I say, the LESS you
seem to understand. You leave me speechless
in a most peculiar way.

London Bridge is falling down..& so am I.

My life is brilliant.

2005-07-12T12:33:00.000+08:00

Like Saturday night I'll be gone
before you knew that I was there.

So here it is, GO GREEN movement! :D
(The last skin was causing dejection.)

YAY to the start of the week & I've already
made it to almost every teacher's bad book
for dozing off in class. Well, I really can't help it?
I was up painting the whole of last night.
& staying up wasn't on my agenda, I swear.
I started painting & voila, time for school.

Also, allow me to award myself the most
'Ridiculous Anserine Behavior' award.
I cannot believe what I did but, it worked!
That awful stinging sensation in my cheek
kept me awake for the rest of the period.

The slap I gave myself during Math class
was the cherry on top of a 'fabulous' day.

Ow.

Seriously, I think my sanity's going.

-

Rough Draft
Yellowcard

Like a Saturday night I'll be gone
Like a Saturday night I'll be gone
Before you knew that I was there

So you wrote it down
I'm supposed to care
Even though it's never there
Sorry if I'm not prepared
Is it hard to see the things you substitute
For me and all my thoughts of you
It's eating me alive to leave you

Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong
But so is your blank stare in lieu of this song
Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong

Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
May a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me

I'm finding my own words, my own little stage
My own epic drama, my own scripted page
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,
A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
Are friendly intentions and fairweather smiles

And I don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone
before you knew that I was there

Yyou.

Empty Promises.

2005-07-08T04:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I saw you & you.
& everything came to a stand still.

I've been expecting this for the longest
of time. Yet when the moment came,
I didn't know how to react.

I wanted to run;
after & away from you both.

Disrupted by the pull of contrary forces,
I stood rooted to the ground, frightened.

Part of me wanted very much to go up to
you & remind you of my existence; that
I haven't dropped off the face of Earth.
To show you how well I'm surviving,
without ~~you~~.

Part of me was afraid to see the other you,
the villian of the piece. Remember the seed
of fear you planted in me? Because I allowed
myself to be mired in the past, I nurtured it.
I fear you, even till today, & I abhor you.

-

"Don't worry, I won't ever abandon you."
"No matter what happens, I'll take care of you."
"You can call me Mummy."

I wanted to believe in everything you said,
it all sounded so good. I eventually did, as my
trust in you grew. Only to have you turn my
world upside down. Your words now all seem
dubious. I should've known then, they were
too good to be true. All Bullshit.

I hate you for abandoning me.
No explanation, no last words, nothing.
I hate you for being on his side when I
was scared & needed you more than he did.
Can I also hate you for not protecting me?

You turned your back against me , went
& gave your tongue to the Devil on a dish.

Anger often masquerades as fear.
I decided that I don't hate you afterall.
(I still hate that man beside you though)

So, I summed up all my courage & sneaked
up behind you, fingers crossed, holding onto
just a spark of hope that you'd care enough
to inquire about my life. It has been, afterall,
2 years since we last saw each other.

"Oh, hi."

Our eyes met for a brief few seconds
& you turned away. Stupefied, that's
how I felt.

"Bye."

I packed a truckload of disappointment
into that single syllable as I fought to hold
back my tears.

I was waiting on a different story.
I didn't think I valued you this much
until yesterday but it shall all be history
now. & may history never repeat.

I'll rid this love/hate & fear for good.

-

Thank you for holding me while I cried.

Snip SNAP.

2005-07-04T02:38:00.000+08:00

CUT. [v] Stop filming
%Y

I just got off the phone & I'm taking time
to plot my thoughts down in Black & White.

Filming can resume but I QUIT. The good guy's
role is hard to play & i don't want to play no 'villian'.

When she rips your heart apart at the seams,
feelings of regret will not be mine, for I did what
I feel should to be done. I believe your other friends
(FRIENDS, only you don't think they are) did too.

One man show, baby, you'll be on your own.

Surina, before you totter off to lodge a complain
about me to your Baby, I'll have you know that
I do not appreciate having her barge into the
toilet, yelling her face blue at me. & of course,
get her facts right first. She made a FOOL of
herself the last time. Tsk tsk.That poor Baby
of yours. I'd appreciate it if she could leave
the act of humiliating herself to me instead.

Hmmm..I hope I didn't sound too sarcastic
or abrasive? Pardon me if i did..but you can't
blame me for doing this. Afterall, she spoilt
MY afternoon. WHO likes being yelled at?
For NOTHING? There, we're quits.

-

Seriously, I ought to stop wasting my time.
In my desire to help, I'm inclined to become
involved in the lives & decisions of other people,
which more often than not, leaves me in a rather
unproptitious position.

In other words,
CARE LESS = HAPPINESS

I'm surrounded by ignorant people who
cant't give two hoots what you do for them
& what you have done for them. I believe ky
can relate to this topic, yes? (:

Faux Friendship was all that was genuine.
Once our purpose as stepping-stones are
fulfilled, they sashay off, leaving us dumped,
out in some wayside trashbag. That's just so
selfish. Things have gotten so bad, they can
literally run right into you without acknowledging
your presence.

I'm taking another sentence to remind everyone that
this is an observation, not a ~~rant~~. It's just something
that dawned on me.

My selfish ways out number the good ways,
I'm not a Saint nor am I some anti-social who's
against having alot of friends. I just wish other
people (some of my friends in particular) weren't
so driven by the idea of having MORE friends
& all that junk that they totally disregard the
ones who stood by them when the world had
their backs turned. They seem totally consumed.
Does more friends really guarantee you popularity?
I don't think so. I'm contented with my few.

& I'm not talking about a national level.
This is on a personal level, what I see everyday.
I could care less about what the rest of the universe
is doing most of the time. Why can't we all just go about
our daily lives yet respect each other's presence at the
same time?

For those dissatisfied with the humdrum entries
I've been posting on a sporadic basis, I think this one
deserves credit.

...

That'd be another one for my ego.

I'm kidding.

Well, maybe not. (:

Til then.

2005-07-03T02:37:00.000+08:00

~~Happy Lovers~~.

I detest wearing heels. My ankle hurts.
A dull persistent ache. That's what i got from
Ncc day. Result of wearing heels.
Whoever said 'Heels are a girl's bestfriend'?
I beg to differ.

This painting says so much. Love it.

Shiori matsumoto

So how did you construe it?

-

I love you Nic. (:

Crazy & Unwell.

2005-07-01T17:32:00.000+08:00

Do you have the time, to listen to me whine
about nothing & everything all at once.

I am one of those Melodramatic fools.
Neurotic to the bone.
No doubt about it.
Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me.

It all keeps adding up.
I think I'm cracking up.
Am I just paranoid.
I'm just stoned.

Basketcase
Greenday

I'm feeling sick. First I get the headache,
then I start feeling sad.

An urge so strong, to eject the contents
of the stomach through the mouth.

You're miserable.
So why make me miserable?

I know that you know how i feel.
& that is why you suck.

Choleric. It's one of those days.

-

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

Slander corner.

2005-06-27T04:02:00.000+08:00

Thou slander of thy mother's heavy womb. --Shak.

For those of you who have been dying to express
some personal opinions or provide interlinear
explanations for what is written on my self-claimed
cyber space, REJOICE!

Your little 'slander corner' is up. Go on, do some
speech act, lavish me with annotations.

Kiss my feet.

-

I got everything ready for school.
Everything but homework.

Nothing free from taint & ill.

Memory > Sugarcult

2005-06-24T02:34:00.000+08:00

These hearts, they race from self-control.

My heart is yours to fill or burst.

Spongebob bedroom slippers.
Lovely aren't they; on my dainty feet.

By the way, hover over the pictures if
you haven't. Grayscale rollovers does
the trick. Though i must admit, it is
becoming passe. I thought it might 'add'
some colour to the entry instead of the
usual dry, mundane 'everyday entry'.

What am i saying, really. I'm feeling so
rhetorical & nonliteral. & anti-love too.

It is true, that when you have too much,
you have too much to lose as well.
Poof! Gone. This predicament i set
for myself.

I just learnt that 'Poof' is an offensive
term for an openly homosexual man.
Synonyms such as; faggot, fag, fairy(?!)
& Queen. Gulp. To think that i enjoyed/
(still enjoy) being called that.

Words last spoken will be on replay;
nights will no longer exist, as insomnia
kicks in.

Saturday & Sunday's agenda doesn't
look exciting at all. Art & tons of homework.
Won't somebody help?

Should i fix my comment box?
Uh-uh. I'm a faineant Queen. Ha.

x

Memory
Sugarcult

This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings insincere
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
I'll tear us apart
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way

So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
Tearing out my heart
I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings ~~disappear~~
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings insincere
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

I wish, I might, have the wish, I wish tonight.

ROD 05 :)

2005-06-22T17:12:00.000+08:00

These tears on my face are for you.

Journey
Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

-

She's good.

NCOs 05. It still isn't a full attentdance. Haha!

So i'm back from ROD, dog-tired.
Anyway, i really like that chalet.
Aloha Loyang Chalet. I think.
Commodious; it has a large porch area,
garage, dining area, kitchen, spacious hall,
barbeque area, 4 rooms, 3 of which
equipped with bathrooms. Beat that.

Well, ROD itself was pretty fun!
Felt like graduation night. :D

Self-professed shutterbugs like us
took the chance to take as many
pictures as our cameras could take.
(Teri's camera went kaput.)

I especially like the performances
put up by each part. If only you
guys would put in as much effort
in your drills. Oh well, then came
the teary goodbyes. I didn't cry,
much to my surprise. Teared
would make a better word.

I like the gifts, thank you, rascals!
Coincidently, they're Limegreen.
Hahaha, I'm not complaining!

Alright, wrapping this entry up with
loads of love & misses. I'll miss ya'll.
Really. Part As, adorable bunch.

I'm hitting the sack early tonight.
The much needed DEEP slumber.

I'm going to be dead to the world.

Bang Bang > Nancy Sinatra

2005-06-18T13:11:00.000+08:00

Bang Bang
Nancy Sinatra

I was five & he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black & I wore white
He would always win the fight

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down

Seasons came & changed the time
I grew up I called him mine
He would always laugh & say
Remember when we used to play

Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down

Music played & people sang
Just for me the church bells rang

Now he's gone I dont know why
Until this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie

Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down

-

So eerie & wistful.
So...bittersweet.

I like.

"Bang Bang."

No more lies.

2005-06-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

No More Lies
By Moody Blues

I need you like you need me
Truly and completely
Never be apart
I think that you should tell me
come right out and tell me
Just what's in your heart

And if you think that it's alright
Let's make a deal and work it out
We'll walk into the sunset you and I
With no more alibis
When we tell each other
No more lies

Well truth is my addiction
Stranger still than fiction
Wider than the sky
And songs that have such feeling
Words that have such meaning
Dreams that never die

And if you think it sounds OK
Let's turn around and start again
We'll walk beside the ocean hand in hand
With no more alibis
When we tell each other
No more lies

I sometimes think that maybe
You're just a little girl
You know I love you baby
I've got to tell the world

So that's the final story
The truth in all its glory
See how much I care
You know you drive me crazy
Thrill me and amaze me
Drive me to despair

And if you think that now feels right
Let's close the door and dim the light
We'll greet the dawn together side by side
Just look into my eyes
Cause you know I'll tell you

No more lies

Hello, goodbye.

2005-06-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

Hello, goodbye.

I can bend & not break or
I can break & take it with a smile
& I am so resilient, I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine.

-

Well truth is my addiction,
stranger still than fiction.
Wider than the sky & songs
that have such feeling.
Words that have such meaning,
dreams that never die.

& if you think it sounds OK,
~~let's turn around & start again~~.
We'll walk beside the ocean
hand in hand, with no more alibis
when we tell each other no more lies.

Won't you hold me now?

Greatest Story ever told

2005-06-11T02:17:00.000+08:00

Greatest Story ever told
Oliver James

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes & dreams
I could have prayed for
Here you are

If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you & I together
I'm so glad I'm your ~~man~~ girl

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
but if destiny decided I should look
the other way then the world would
never know the greatest story ever told
& did I tell you that I love you tonight

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine
It's the way we touch that sends me
It's the way we'll always be
your kiss your pretty smile
you know i'd die for
oh baby
you're all i need

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
but if destiny decided I should look the
other way then the world would never
know the greatest story ever told
& did I tell you that I love you
just how much i really need you
did I tell you that I love you
tonight
tonight

And if I lived a thousand years
You know I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you that day
but if destiny decided I should look the
other way then the world would never
know the greatest story ever told
& did I tell you that I love you
just how much I really need you
did I tell you that I love you tonight

Nart, you bloody perfectionist.

2005-06-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

So you could see the truth:
That this love I have inside.

Woke up late. Turned up for class
20 mins late. Which means i only
had to sit through 40 minutes of
Math. Wooot! "Do you real-lie?"

The only lesson I enjoyed today
was Biology. The documentry
was fantastic. Animals who play
dead, crabs who don themselves
with pearls & whatnots. Cute.

3 days of art, art & more ART.
I'm not so sure I can survive.

Nart:
"Eh.. I alphabetized my whole
sidebar alr except for e first two
sections. :) just to irritate u."

& I leave it to you, kind Jury
out there to decide whether
or not to wallop her.

She's just so...anal retentive.
If you think I'm a hardcore
perfectionist, look at her.

Giant Spongebob.

2005-06-04T11:44:00.000+08:00

God I'm wrong, it's just the way I am.

Here's a quick update. Running
late to meet the NCOs at Singapore
post. Real late. Not like it's unusual
for me to be late.

Singapore street festival has provided
me with many many eye candies
(the artworks on display you goob)
& desideratum(s). Digressing, I want
to get a couple of shirts from Fossil.
But I'm stone broke. & I've got my
eyes set on this GIANT Spongebob
plushy. Trust me when i say GIANT.
It's way cute & i can just imagine
hugging it to sleep.

I want, i want, I WANT!

It's not a desideratum i know.
But i can't deny the fact that
i lust for it, can i? Haha.

Lust.
What a strong word for a plushy.
Hmm..what a scandalous affair
with Spongebob huh.

I wanted to see something that's different,
something you said would change in me.
Wanted to be, anything different,
everything you would change in me.

Different
Acceptance

One down.

2005-05-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

You're the unsuspecting victim.

Bite the bullet.
I did it! Chinese Os wasn't all
that difficult. In fact, i thought
it was quite a piece of cake?
Just hope I'm right. Not going
to be proud. Uh uh. Keeping my
fingers crossed til August.
Please, an A2 will do.

Moment of silence.

Still, i feel like shouting in euphoria,
"It's OVER!" But i think i'll save it
til it's ALL over. I'll run free & chuck
away the good ol' books & hope to
never see them again. :D

Sad to say, there's still a week
of structured lessons, Art camp
& O Levels to conquer. So til then,
everything i wish for is nothing
but pie in the sky. Weird, I think of
Vanilla Sky when i say that. Maybe
cos' i relate pie to Vanilla but no,
i've never eaten a Vanilla pie.

I'm tired. Travelled all the way
from East to North & then from
North to Central & back to East
again from Central.

Blurbs:

01. 'The Geeks Get The Girls'
by AMERICAN HI-FI's playing
in my head. I LIKE!

02. 'Everlasting Love' by
Jamie Cullum's next on the list.

03. I'm so proud of Part Cs!
Great job done on the invitations.
Makes ROD all the more exciting. :)

04. Lastly, how's the drums Nart?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

All right sweetums, sweeping my ass
off the comp. Will update soon, with
a couple of quotations from 8 days'
'THE LAST PAGE.'

Something to do with Star Wars,
lines replaced by the word 'Pants'
or something. Cracked me up.
But i don't have it with me now
so there.

MJC or CJC?

DROOL.

2005-05-25T00:03:00.000+08:00

Drool
3. [v] let saliva drivel from the mouth;
"The baby drooled."

I'm sleepy.

I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

GNAW.

2005-05-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

Gnaw
1. [v] bite or chew on with the teeth;
"gnaw an old cracker", "chewed on a cookie"

I can't believe you wiped out
MY nails. Mushroom head(s)
they've becomed, like yours.

You looked so adorable.

Did you know that?
Well i'm telling you now.

Bitter.

2005-05-21T01:53:00.000+08:00

everything looks wrong now;
maybe we should leave?

Bitterness is the unhealthiest emotion
you can have. When you are offended
or disappointed by others & allow the
hurt to germinate in your heart,
bitterness & resentment will take root.

Bitterness is a frozen form of
latent anger & resentment.

Bitterness is being constantly
hurt by a memory & is holding
onto a hurt until it has a hold on you.

Bitterness makes us foolish.
Bitterness provokes people to do
stupid things & to say stupid things.

Bitterness pervades everything.
A blot on the landscape, that's
what it is.

You caught me by surprise when
you said all those horrible things.
I couldn't fathom then, what the
heck I did that provoked you to
putting out all your anger in me.

I felt like a cigarette, stubbed.
Don't ask me why I use this
analogy.

I don't think i did anything wrong
yet you got me feeling like nothing.

Zilch.

Well, time to zip.

I feel so oppressed.

What if the person who can stop your
tears is the one who made you cry?

Cheesy, but true.

I wish you hadn't reacted the way
you did. Please, please let this
winter pass. Baby, I'm making a
plea for the first time; please
stop it. It hurts. Too much.
Please, I beg you. I'm tired.

Moxie, moxie, moxie,
I need alot of it.

P/S: Thanks alot Snow Fairy.

Productive shopping.

2005-05-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

another perfect day
& all my troubles go away.

Saturday was much fun. :D
Sweets brought me shopping
& stuffed me with alot of food
along the way. I swear you're
pampering me way TOO much
but, who's complaining? Heh.

P.S. Weini, I don't give two
hoots about your facking
Mickey & Minnie! HAHA!
Damn, i HATE them ugly things!

So, we're the predators on the
hunt for goodies & did we get
a handful of goodies all right!

Two Spongebob Tees

a LIMEGREEN bikini :)

this super adorable gummy
candy, not your ordinary
gummy. (Those, you can grab
from nearby 'Mama shops'.)
This one's way cute. I got
myself the SUSHI edition.

Priced at $1.20, the pack
comes with 7 'rice' er..balls (?)
& 'toppings' like, 'prawn roe',
'Tako', 'Salmon', etcetera.
Notice they're all in inverted
commas, they're not real, just
gummies shaped like Sushi.

Well, you can place a topping of
your choice with the 'rice' or just
eat it on its own. Taste just as good.
One thing i don't quite like though,
it's super chewy...& STICKY.

Besides that, i had alot of fun
'making' sushi & popping 'em
into my mouth instantly.
It's SO cute! I LIKE.

Moving away from Saturday,
nothing beats tanning with sweets!
Pity we didn't quite manage to get
nicely roasted due to the early
sunset. More like, we started LATE.

There, you have it. An entry filled
with pictures to make up for the
wordy one below. I'm making an
abrupt stop here.

Night earthlings! (:

Personal changes.

2005-05-13T20:58:00.000+08:00

Tiger or Cat?

this Tiger, I think it's so adorable.
Char insists that it's a 'Bloody Cat'
pretending to be a Tiger & going,
ROAR! I still think it's a Tiger.

You be the judge.

Friday the 13th didn't work it's
magic today. Dragon boating went
well & I got myself a pretty tan. (:

Thinkin of the day,
When you went away
What a life to take,
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Every step you take;
P.diddy w/ Faith evans

Sometimes, sitting back & just
looking /listening to what goes
on around you can be somewhat
rewarding. It drives me to think;
to generate quiet superstitions in
my head. Gracious, i sound evil.

Take this random thought:
Does your friends shun the
opportunity to defend you in
your absence?

This draws on me emotionally
when i need my friends the most.
It's like trying to climb a mountain
by yourself with nobody holding
the rope for you, or some kind of
analogy like that.

Seek stability before you make
your jump. In order to preserve
your current relationship with
someone, don't speak ill of them
in their absence. It's better to be
trusted & respected than to be liked.
All of these profound stuff. Sure.
It sounds good to me these days.

I hate to appear predictable or asinine.
& I hate the fact that whenever i choose
to 'close one eye', I'm being shortchanged,
taken advantage of. Don't play with fire.
Comeupance; one's just desserts.

'A man may think God sleeps, but God
sees everything.' -The Crucible.

All i want to say is reflected on this
one phrase.

I've decided to make some personal
changes in my life. Mainly, try to soften
my edges. Trying to understand my
relationships, trying to work out
differences & synergize. This means
i have to be more tactful with what
i say & stop being so sarcastic.
Or this is how i interpreted it.
I'll try being nicer, if you try
being smarter.

It's going to be a challenge.
I don't tell you things you
want to hear. I don't want to.
But i'll give it a shot anyway.

"Bang bang, you die."

Haha. Kill Bill. I think that song's
cute. I wanna head down to P.S
tomorrow! More dares, more $!

All right, i'm done splashing my
brain on this digital canvas.
It's a boring but notable entry.

You. You hit the spot on rainy days.

Love me.

So wax-ed.

2005-05-09T18:58:00.000+08:00

Her killer instinct tells her
to beware of evil men.

MYE's about coming to an end,
all that's left is Geog Paper 1,
Art & a nice, relaxing listening
compre to finish it off! YEAH.
I CAN listen & i'm pretty sure
i CAN comprehend some ching
chong. There, i FINALLY have
time to stop & breathe.

A quick recap of events that
happened over the course of
the past weeks..

Nikkay, Nart & i went for
Perfect 10's 'Dare You To'
& won ourselves a measly sum
of cash. HEY! It's STILL good
considering that we didn't do
anything extreme for it. Just lap
dancing on Ronald McDonald,
cracking an egg over your head
& wiping the 'egg-y' mess off the
ground with napkins! Had a fair
bit of fun. Doing and watching
others perform their dares. :D

That's me cleaning up.

Proud winners of..$40!

Believe it of not, we were suppose
to 'ACT CUTE'. I don't know why
& HOW Nart turn out like that.

Caught House of Wax after
Math paper today & oh, did
i mention that it was a killer?
IT WAS. Have always been.
No.1 serial killer. It was all
above my head, i couldn't
complete a single sum without
having to squeeze my brain
dry!!! Aaarghhh!!! I hate math.

So back to the movie, yes,
it's a scream! BEST movie
amongst ALL that i've caught
this year..and LAST year TOO.
Warning: Not suitable for the
faint hearted. It's waaayyy gory.
I sure like the way Paris Hilton
died though. Haha. Beautiful.

It's definitely worth the $7. :)
Yep, the cost of movie's busting
our pockets. $7 from Monday
to Wednesday (cept for preveiws),
$8 from thursday to Friday & $9
on weekends if i remember clearly.

At the rate the price's shooting up,
i'm not surprise that piracy demands
will be going up too.

I wanna swim, swim, swim. YAY!

Hot hot heat.

2005-04-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

& the good times that I had
makes today seem rather sad ;

English paper today was anything
but a breeze. No point crying over
spilled milk, tomorrow's Chinese.

I hate the sultry & oppressive
weather in Singapore! Everyday
i endure about 8 hours in stuffy,
sweltering classrooms & leaving
that concrete greenhouse doesn't
do much to alleviate me from the
unbearable heat. Instead, I'm at
the mercy of torrid noonday sun.

Can anyone comprehend my
DESPERATION?! Speaking of which,
I'm looking for this:

KA-CHING: For two years during
the 1970s, Mattel sold a doll called
"Growing Up Skipper." Her breasts
grew when her left arm was turned.
(sole reason why i'm interested)
Her waist becomes slimmer & grows
3/4 taller. Turning the arm back again
reverts to er..her shape before puberty?

How ADORABLE is that LAH!?!
I WANT, I WANT, I WANT! :D

Hi^5

2005-04-18T23:24:00.000+08:00

& I'll hold on if you want me to.

Today was a rather bad day for me.

Mary Mary quite contrary.
Hmm..random.

01. I woke up later than usual.
02. I was unusually edgy today.
03. My class was one noisy mob.
04. Had a tiff with sweets. Awww.

..& the fact that my eyes are hurting
so bad now isn't really making my
day any better. I swear i'm not making
a fuss out of it, i think i'm going blind.

On a lighter note, my day isn't about
to end as badly as i thought it would.
Listen carefully; do you hear McFly
playing? Heh. All About You!
That's enough to make my day.

If all my days go wrong
I'll think about last night
It went right

If you only knew
What I went through
just to get to you
I'm hanging from you
& I'll hold on if you want me to.

If only you knew;
Maroon 5

Baby, I'm glad we cleared the air.
Yes, we're fine now. As good as
ever if not better! :D

Hey you, yes, the one who lives
on SMELL-dy Avenue, Hi5!

You know, I know. Wink.

ABRACADABRA !

2005-04-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

ABRACADABRA !
Somehow this word's got a magical
ring to it. I was brought up to believe
it IS magical. Damn those cartoons
we were fed back then.

1 Bat, 2 Snails. Combine to
mix the brew. It's bubbling
up a BIG FAT wish to send
good things to you !

How quaint. And guess where i
got that from? CHARLENE's panty!
HAHAHA! She's screaming at me
for publicizing it. But it's cute LAH.

Yesterday was a day of unrestrained
merrymaking at Ms Dugong's house.
Yes yes, we all had FUN but i'm too
lazy to elaborate on the details.
For me to know, for you to find out.

Remember the Lip-synching Fat Kid
i mentioned last time? Nevermind if
you don't cos here's the link anyway.
Well Char found the lyrics to that
catchy beat he was synching to
& i'm in the mood to share. (:

Ma-Ya- Hi
by O-ZONE >> (( CLICK ))

Hello, hello, It's me Picasso
I will paint my words of love
with your name on every wall.

So much love.

Living for today.

2005-04-05T15:59:00.001+08:00

& now I'm making a change,
I'm living for today ;

I shall type whatever comes into
my mind first. Like they said,
"First come, first served."

01. Time flies. It's Tuesday today,
then it's Wednesday again. Which
means i have to struggle through
the rest of the week until Friday
comes along..& sweep me off my
feet. HAHAHA! That was random.

Anyway, i cleared my sleep debts!
Stayed home today due to bad
cramps. School was real slack
today according to Gloria.

02. Geog test's postponed!
Yay! More time to study.
& my Geog cum Form teacher
SUCKS. I heard bout it fellow
classmates. What a ______.

03. School's fine. Been doing
quite a bit of 'secret studying'.
..it's not so 'secret' anymore.

04. I went for Avril's concert.
T'was alright i must commend.
She's SO tiny ! Quite cute LAH.
Sk8ter Boi got the audience rockin'.
Yep, including ME ! Yes, surprise!

Which reminds, i HATE girls with
excess cellulite on their waists/hip
wearing their jeans or skirts wayyy
below their hip; exposing their
ugly butt crack. It's really
disgusting. Especially with lumpy
deposits of body fat oozing out.
You get the picture.

Imagine having to put up with
THAT throughout the concert.
& if that wasn't bad enough, she
couldn't stop jumping. OMG.
Exposed butt crack + excess
cellulite + WOBBLY lumps of
FATS. What an eyesore.

Note: Not like i have a fantastic
figure myself BUT i don't flaunt
my fats either.

05. My Blogger's in CHINESE.

06. Never knew i could feel like this;
like i've never seen the sky before.
Want to vanish inside your kiss.
Everyday i love you more & more.

Long entry.
TAGS replied! :)

& imissYOU twit!

Lip-sync fat kid.

2005-03-28T00:48:00.000+08:00

So I told you with a smile,
it's all about you :)

What you're about to view
will knock your socks off.

(( Lip-sync Guru ))

This guy's a screaming farce.
Evidently, he made it into our
(Nart's & mine) prestigious list
of Favourite people with much
ease. & i'm pretty sure he'll be
in yours too after watching him.

Credits to Nart fart for having
found the wonderful link. :D

"Wait for the girl who is a constant
reminder of your happiness & joy,
who makes you smile just by
knowing she loves you back."

~~I think~~ I've found mine. :)

Good Friday.

2005-03-25T19:53:00.000+08:00

i'll sing you a lullabye,
sing you to sleep - a sleep
you'll never wake from ;

This weekend's packed with
a handful of homework. Pffft.

BUT ! (Drumrolls) Girlfriend's
here to spend the loooooong
weekend ! She's gonna take
the blues away. YAY !

(( you light up my life ))

Sure, it's a Gooooood Friday. (:

I detest Vanessa Chong.

2005-03-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

Move Bitch, get out the way.

So..you got used and dumped.
Damn well serves you right.

So what if your relationship
ended bad? We don't care.
Oh, wait a minute; we dooo!
But only so we could laugh
in your face.

I can't believe you have the
atrocity to come crawling back
to the one who once loved you.
(note the use of past tense)

You're. So. Tragic.

[Quote]
It's SO sad. no one likes me
now. Maybe cuz i'm ugly. Ya.
lol so poor thing pls.
[/Quote]

Need me say more?
So much for your ~~happy~~ ending.

Smirk.

I'm really glad to know that
humans ain't so stupid anymore.
Praise to human evolution. :)

Just a gentle reminder,
I DON'T SHARE.

Your lust for attention is arousing
aversion. Know where you stand,
don't push your deplorable luck.
Execrable wretch; thorn in my flesh,
i damn hope you read this.

Lastly, for the convenience of
stupid skanky whores like you ;
Exit stage left. Thank you.

Can't break through.

2005-03-17T01:43:00.000+08:00

Can't Break Through
BUSTED

I hate when you say,
I Don't blow you away,
I can't break through
that way Our Friends told us
We wouldn't last for the week
I guess they think that
I'm a freak
They hated my blue streak
I cant control this

Chorus:

Why does it feel like it's raining in my head?
I don't understand Why are you always
complaining about me
You don't even know who I am
Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't send you a sorry card
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you

I feel that it's time
For me to draw the line
(I know that I'll be fine)
Without your bitchin'
Cos' everyday I become
A little less numb
Like I don't even know you

Chorus*

Don't think I wanna know you
I'm tired of running after you
I won't send you a sorry card
Cos' I don't need you
I've given up and never reminisce
I found a way of getting over this
I let go in everyway
Cos' I don't need you

Cos' I don't need you

Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me
Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me
Don't think I wanna know
I've gotta go before I go crazy
I let go in everyway
Cos' anyway, I know that you hate me

Hands off.

2005-03-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

CHEAP TRASH.

Sorry girl but you missed out.
Well tough luck, that ~~boy's~~
girl's MINE now. (Bitchay!)
We are more than just good
friends. This is how the story ends.
Too bad that you couldn't see,
see the lover that ~~boy~~ girl could be.
There is more that meets the eye,
I see the soul that is inside. :)

Does your pretty face see what
SHE's worth? Apparently NOT.
So hands off if you were planning
to lay your dirty finger on what
is now MINE. You had your chance
and you blew it. Smirk.

I've made a mental note never
to commit the same faux pas as
you. Man, were you one dumb
B*tch. And i guess you're still
one if you actually thought you
could have a second go at this
game for two. :)

Three's a crowd.

Period.

Rage engulfs.

2005-03-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

Rage is sweeter than Love.

My pompous attitude might
have nettled several people.
I'm sorry you have to put up
with my infrequent outbursts
of temper. Don't you want to
hate me? It's tempting ain't it?

A soundless body wants to cry.
Eyes so irritated but still so dry.
I'm feeling this miff, so extreme,
i find it hard to comprehend.
Could it be that i was jolted out
of my paradoxical sleep? >:(
Or i could attribute it to the
infamous 'time of the month'.

Of course, that's just an excuse
most girls (in particularly me)
give to be a total Bitch, minus
the guilt. And i have undoubtly
abused this privilege. Hurhur.
I feel horrid and look worse.

That's 2 minutes of rage, hate,
and uncontrollable words spoken
out loud but words are mute,
no one understands.

I think i'm calling it a day even
though i just woke up from a nap
say, 2 hours ago. No point staying
up when i can't complete my
assignments. My mind isn't in
a state to think coherently.

9 more days.

Ben Folds invades.

2005-02-27T02:09:00.000+08:00

"And I'm not saying the effort is a
waste of time, but i just love you for
the things you couldn't change,
though you've tried.

These hours of confusion, they will
soon expire, like everything does.
There's never gonna be a moment
of truth for you. While the world is
watching. All you need is the thing
you've forgotten; and that's to learn
to live with what you are."

You've Got To Learn To
Live With What You Are ;
Ben Folds

Vespa love.

2005-02-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

This house is full of ears
but i can't talk to anyone.
They've heard this one
a thousand times ;

New skin. A quick one.
I like the picture ! So very
vintage. (: Beautiful.

Yay. I'm gonna catch
White Noise with sweets
tomorrow ! Weee !

And..i'm done updating. Ha.
Yes, my life's about as exciting
as this sporadically updated blog.

Scootin' off.

Friday marks the 3.

2005-02-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

my defence doesn't make sense .

I am tired.
I am grumpy.
I am worn out.
I am cheesed off.
I am vexed to the max
I am desperate to finish my art.
I want to wallow in self pity tonight
eventhough we all know very well,
i have no one but myself to blame
now that i am in this unhappy,
stressful state.

On days like these, i wish my knight
in shining armour would come along
and take it all away. No, i don't want
a knight in shining armour. Really.

I've only got Friday to look forward to.
Yay. Friday marks that special 3.
My onlyONE. :)

Seek consent.

2005-02-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

what goes around
comes around ;

I'm feeling spiteful.
Gonna be M.I.A til
cable gets fixed.
Which is, after
valentines' day.

Weee. Valentine's day !
I'm in the mood for love.

Her lips are damn juicy.

2005-01-26T23:12:00.000+08:00

Grouch ;
Here's one complain to bid
January goodbye.

I failed to fight off the temptation
to post an entry.

School's the epitome of monotony.
Homework, tests, homework, tests.
BOO.

You get the picture.

You might wonder why i actually
bother to even update, for most
of my entries are so curt and vague.

It's not that i don't have much to
share. I have ALOT to share.
So much that i have to do away with
the stuffs to share & share with you
sneakers out there who reads between
my lines & grin in glee at every juicy bits
or smile so derisively at every downfall
i enumerate. At the end of the whole
ordeal, i'm left with almost nothing
to share.

Tough luck.
Come closer, perhaps then i'd tell
you more.

Anyway, i still post entries sporadically
for the simple pleasure of seeing
my words across the page.
I guess this is the only place
that'll publish my writing.

One step closer to being a writer. :)

Her lips are so damn juicy
How about another first kiss ?

"Turn."

'Cause I'm in love with you.

2005-01-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

Life is full of Surprises.
Take this entry for example.
Avril's lyrics, Avril's song
on MY blog. Damn, i'm crazy.

Avril Lavigne ;
Fall to pieces

I looked away
Then I looked back at you
You tried to say
Things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

Want to know who you are
Want to know where to start
I want know what this means
Want to know how to feel
Want to know what is real
I want to know everything
Everything

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
And I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you
'Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

:)

You surprise me.

2005-01-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

and after having spent
the day together, hold
eachother close the
whole night through ;

My stress tolerant level's
really low. It's only the
FIRST week of school,
yet i'm shagged and the
stress is up to my neck.

Top 5 reasons
i should be happy :
(Not in any order)

1) I'm finally CLEAN after
enduring hours of dust,
perspiration and whatnots.
2) I filled up my stomach.
3) I can finally enjoy 8 hours
of sleep tonight.
4) My friends were SO sweet
to have waited close to 4 hrs
for my NCC to end ? Thanks.
5) YOUR surprise visit ! (:

& i bid the comp goodbye.

2005-01-03T21:06:00.000+08:00

i falter as the music
stops, you watch me
as i stall and wonder
when i fall.

Nothing beats a perfect day
where geeks all around this
wretched world does nothing
else but sits infront of their
'ought-to-be-screwed' PCs,
forming well-concerted
schemes to launch attacks
at other PCs around this
world and screw up other's life,
(mine would be a model example)
just because they ain't got balls
to retaliate against the jerk(s)
who screwed up their life,
i figured this was their way
to get back at the cruel world.

..and for the sins of my brothers
and sisters, this household would
have to endure and live life with
the absence of chat programmes;
msn/yahoo messenger etcetera.

To top it off, ALL files/data/whatever
would be wiped out; spanking c-l-e-a-n.
(cleaner than you'd ever clean your ass)
while the critically infected PC is being
reformatted.

Now, that's a 'perk' . A facking 'perk'
to pluck my last seething nerve off.

So i'm gonna wait til Char's done
'bidding goodbye' to msn messenger
on the other PC before i go on my
'saving spree', as quoted from Surina.

Til then, i'm gonna proceed to
drown my sorrows in Yakult.
A whole strip of it. All five bottles
of 100ml and let the supposed
'live' bacteria gnaw my intestines
out. What a perfect ending to my
already perfect world !

..did i mention i was suspected
of erm, shoplifting? How degrading.
Just because a student stands
outside your shop doesn't mean
you have to watch her every
move with your 'hawk's eye'
and come running out like the
tsunami was hot on your heel
when i simply unzipped my
bag...to keep my wallet.

I could feel your eyes boring
a hole in me as we walked away
and left you counting your dumb
CDs on the rack.

Please, $4.90 HOKKIEN CDs
are not my kind of music.

On a lighter note, i'm really
glad to have sweet pals around
to help maintain my sanity for
the rest of the 362 days.

++ No need for names to be
published, you know who you
are. Thanks you two. :)

Monkey business.

2005-01-02T20:59:00.000+08:00

MONKEY BUSINESS ;

That's nikkay and myself
'monkeying' around. :D

Damn i'm dreading school
tomorrow..yet excited at the
same time cos i finally get to
see those folks i've been
missing during the hols ! :)

Yay.

Alright, this shall be my
last entry..for this week
as i bid my blog 'goodbye'.

Internet allowance limited
to weekends only. :(

Another year.

2005-01-02T04:28:00.000+08:00

i've wasted more time
dreaming than living ;

A new skin to kickstart the
new year ! I'm pretty much
satisfied. Whatcha say ? :)

Nevermind, you don't have
no say. Ha.

I'm amazed yet another
year has past me by though
it seems like yesterday
i complained about the
~~new~~ year - 2004.
But alas, 2005 has arrived;
a tad bit TOO soon infact.
I've yet to clear alot of
bullshit in my life.

Oh and according to
the school website, both
Siva & Devi are gonna be
our form teachers. How..erm,
cool is that huh ?

Damn screw this facking
ass comp !!! Ohmygoodness.

A normal 5-10 minute
entry is taking a minimum
of almost 45 minutes to
type !!! Every 6-7 seconds
the comp dies on me by
going into what i'd call,
a 'screenshot' mode.
Nothing moves. In other
words, HANG. Then i'd
have to click away in a
frenzy to it all 'alive' again.

I'm trying to type at a superb
speed of 50 words/per second
so i can..UGH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm literally RACING against
time. ARGH ! SCREW IT.
I surrender. I've so much to
say but this is unendurable.

"..I just wanna scream,
how could this happen to me !"

Chinese.

2004-12-29T03:46:00.000+08:00

So if you want me
you're gonna have
to speak up fast ;

So..i couldn't resist the digital
hi-tech 'forbidden fruit' that
goes by the common name(s)
of PC/Computer or more
affectionately addressed as,
'My Comp' by most.

I didn't think i'd be blogging
but here i am to update you
hungry asses with new information.

Contradictory yet again.

-

Perhaps it's the result of too
much Chinese. It's Evil.
I hereby excoriate chinese
composition and letter writing.

After several excruciating
hours of 'dictionary flipping',
my brainchild(s) are 3 crumpled
miserable looking papers.
And its contents are a FAR cry
from tangible reality.

Face it, i am not going to be
writing letters in CHINESE
to my friends..or ANYONE else
for that matter. So the question
is,WHY must we be put through
this absolutely painful experience ?!
What an utter waste of precious
time. Common nuisance.

THOSE SCREWED UP CHINA MORONS.

ARGH !
I'm FED UP.
I'm NOT gonna bother.
I've had ENOUGH !!!

Dang it.

Know what i'm gonna do now ?

I'm gonna hop onto bed..and
finish up those damned CHINESE
composition and letter writing(s).
Nothing much..really.

Just 7 more to go.

Merry Christmas +

2004-12-25T02:52:00.000+08:00

Thank You Nikkay for
updating my blog. (:

Anyway, it's Christmas
and this Christmas is
gonna be so different. Yes?

;
i was making my list
i was checking it twice
in the middle of this
i got tears in my eyes
for in my foolish heart
there was one simple truth
the only gift i wanted was
YOU.

Love you. :)

Merry Christmas.

Nikkay invades ver 0.2

2004-12-21T20:26:00.000+08:00

; There's somebody new
and she's better than you
You've been replaced
by a prettier face
So look who's crying now

POOT!!!!

I'm back once again. :)
Bell said that i'm
CONTAMINATING her
oh-so-beautiful blog with
my endless hogwash.

Wateva you bitch.
Heh. Okay bored right now.
Tomorrow I'm going...
T A N N I N G !

With my ever-loving ;
Surina and Nart. :)
( my bandmates rock to the core ! )

Man! Get your ass back
here now! I'm bored
to death! Arrgh! K that's
not the point, the point's
ME heh. Yay! I can't wait
for you-know-wat. Haha!

Hope indo's doing you
good man. Put on lots of
weight kay? Then I can
pinch you till you DIE!
Haha, I'm evil. and
I dun care. :)))

Eh, the colours are so
limited. Getting sick
of them already. Haha.

Okay I'm off to watch
Extreme Gourmet!!
Till then!

-N i k a y-

Nikkay invades ver 0.1

2004-12-21T17:31:00.000+08:00

IF your curiousity
gets the better of you,
then read, LAH.

It's nothing, REALLY,
just.. dam maluself blurbs.

- ever loving, BELL. -

That stupid idiot made me
ever loving ; N I K A Y
type that. :) how nice of her.

Anyways, i'm here to blog!
Cause yeah she said her
blog's stagnant already haha.

First thing's first :

I
M I S S
YOU

So you BETTER miss me too.
Heh. that was lame.
Okay, so you're in indo. now,
and i'm here,
happily rotting like SHIT.

Weeee!

I'm like playing with
the C O L O U R S .
K sorry, back to me.

Anyways, hope you're
doing fine there yeah?
Spending your Christmas
there and not here. :(

SUCKER.

I'm so bored right now.
Well, I guess that's all for today.
I'll be back tomorow.

- Nikay -

; this was suppose to be
yesterday's entry so yeah
blogger fucked me up.
k that sounded wrong but
wat the heck. haha. okay,
NOW i'm done. :)

Birthday Goodies.

2004-12-09T16:38:00.000+08:00

Are ya ready kids ?
Aye, Aye captain !
I can't heeeaaar yooouuu !

Weehee ! I'm so HAPPY !

Elvin popped by this
morning to drop my late
(but very cute) birthday
present. Wahahaha ! :D
..
A spongebob plushie
(I named him Spongebob Jr)
that makes lotsa noise !
YAY !

To top it of, i've a spongebob
huggable from sweets, a
spongebob cup from nat
and a spongebob cake from
Nat, Nikkay and Surina.

What more can i ask for ? :)

Here's some snapshots
of all the Spongebob goodness.
Hover over the pictures for the..
erm, description ?

After all that visual spongebobs,
i figured you guys might wanna
HEAR Sponegbob (and Patrick) !

c lick away :)

>> Driver's License
>> Boo Boo
>> Liar
>> F.U.N

Adorable ain't it !
..
Don't mention it,
you're most welcome.

Thank You. :D

2004-12-07T22:50:00.000+08:00

And all the best deceptions
& the clever cover story
awards go to you ;

Yay, i'm a happy girl. Not.
Blogger ate my last entry.

Grrr!

So here goes (again)..

I made a mental note to
specially thank the following
people for going all out to
make my birthday celebration
sucha memorable one. Indeed.
No pun intended. Ha. (:

Nat, Nikkay, Surina :

THANK YOU !
((Heh, i shy.))

It was a pleasant surprise.
An altogether wonderful
package. (Tears included)
HAHA ! I said it before but
i'd say it again, THANKS !

And to Weini ;

Thanks for the sweet post
on your LJ. I appreciate that !

And to all who wished me,
(i realize i mentioned this in the
previous entry. Sorry, i'm a nag.)
Thanks for all the wishes. (:

..last but not least,
baby i love you.
You're the BEST !
For NOW. :D

Vacation's over.

2004-12-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

Don't leave this rock
unturned cos' you might
like what you find ;

Yay ! It feels nice to be
home and close to the ones
i've missed so much for the
past 5 days.

Phuket's wonderful,
especially Club Med. (:
Andrew's HOT ! Gush.
Haha ! That's for me to
know & you to find out.
Okayy, that's a degression.
Back to Club Med, Phuket..
I did Para-sailing !
Closest thing to flying. :)
And that's the best part
of the whole vacation.

Anyway, thanks to all who
wished me. Very sweet of
you to remember ! :D

I may be getting older but
I defiantly refuse to grow up.

Hurhur.

Phuket vacation.

2004-11-30T23:56:00.001+08:00

Moochi moochi :)

I had the weirdest dream
ever just now. Maybe cos
i was too tired. But even
while asleep, i could feel a
strange sensation creeping
through my whole body..
people bustlin' around me.

At the same time, i felt
someone watching me.

It all seemed so surreal.

Sounds crazy. Heh.

Anyway, I'm due at the
airport in about..
6 hours, 45 minutes.

Oli ;
(Boy, i hope you read
this before you leave !)

Oli oli, i know how the
devastating thought of not
having me around for 5 days
(and more) is causing you
sleepless nights, loss of
appetite and nervous
breakdowns etc. But face
it, im leaving. Hush hush,
don't cry. (:

Alamak, joke please.
Well, you idiot, when
im back you'll be gone !
And it's back to celebrating
my birthday with ~~you~~. :(
ASS. Take care and enjoy
yourself, i'll be missing you !

Alright, i'll be back on
Sunday, 5th December.
Beautiful day ain't that. :D

Yay, Surina you bitch,
you'll be back by then.

Here I go, scream my lungs
out and try to get to you..
You are my only one.

iloveYOU.
Have no idea how much,
but it's a lot. :) Yay.

PS. It's you i'm gonna
miss MOST.

So love me when im gone,
love me when im gone..

gone..

..for 5 days.
Biggie. LOL.

Try me.

2004-11-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

test my
LIMIT ;

..Having one of those
days when i can't make
up my mind. So don't
even look at me.

See, i don't wanna hear
your problems cos I'm
having some of my own.

I know it's not your fault
that I'm feeling down.
I just wanna be left alone.
Down and out in depression,
I think the worst of everything.

...

Got an attitude and i ain't
talking to you.

Understand what I'm saying
tonight, understand where
I'm coming from.

Feeling really bitchy yeah.
And i don't feel like
being nice to nobody.

Don't feel like smiling, no.
Don't feel like smiling, no, no.
See i already know that
I'm fucked up. Pms. I know
I'm fucked up. And i don't
need you to remind me.
See, cos pms is taking over
right now.

PMS.

Snipped version of
Mary J. Blige's ;
PMS

..so much said.

Craving; stingray & cockles.

2004-11-28T06:13:00.000+08:00

If it's okayy,
screw YOU.

I'm blogging in blurbs
today..wait, i think
i've been blogging in
blurbs every other day.

That's besides the point.

I feel like eating
stingray & cockles
specifically from
Lagoon, ecp.

Shut up if you're
intending to preach
me on the cholesterol
level. I'm not some
health fiend.

Funny i should say
this (since i never liked
using exploding dog
for my blog skins) but i'm
sticking with this current
skin..for a week or more.
I'm growing rather fond
of it as minutes tick by. :D

But anyhow, another skin's
all set & ready to be put up.

Fess up ;

don't wanna go back
to that place, but don't
have no choice, no way..

I feel so tied down.

rant & rave.

2004-11-28T06:12:00.000+08:00

You've collectively taken
everyone elses' worse
possible traits to create
this fucking new personality.

If your weapon of choice
were your lies, then
everything you say
would dig out my eyes.

And if it's not to tell me
you're sorry..i hope not
another word leaves your
lips and you'd never breathe
again.

Oh yeah, i forgot you didn't
mean any of those nasty
things you said/did.

Life is great.

2004-11-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

on the way home this
car hears my confession.
i think tonight i'll take
the long way home ;

Much as i like this
current blog skin,
it's rather screwed
ain't it ? I'll be back
with a new one
hopefully by tonight.

-- edit
Just a temporary
template for now.
'Life is great'. NOT.
Anyway, if you're reading
this, do tag and leave
your links. Silly me
deleted all the links. (:

2 more days!

2004-11-17T02:01:00.000+08:00

everything seems
tempting but nothing
comes for free ;

Well, i managed to catch
The Incredibles for
FREE few hours back. :)
Thanks to Char's grandma's
friend. You get the picture.

And my verdict ?
It's INCREDIBLE. :D
Strangely, almost every
character that appeared
resembles Nat. Sad.

I love Edna Mode.
"..stupid little stick figures
with poofy lips.."

That's her opinion on
models. Poofy lips.
Do i have poofy lips ??

WEINI girlfriend ;

i know it's free sitting..
but it doesn't mean you've
to change seats after a trip
to the ladies...HAHAHA !

Private joke.

Yay, i'm feasting my eyes
on some goodies Nat's
sending me. HEH.

Just a few more hours.
imissYOU. Only, not as
much anymore. Ha ! :)

emotions stirred.

2004-11-15T04:40:00.000+08:00

But on d telephone line
I am anyone, I am anythg
I want to be ;

"..I could be a supermodel
or Norman Mailer and you
wldn't know the difference.."

-Croons along- :D

This song seemed to
have evoked nostalgia
and weird enough, stirred
some emotions in me.
I've no idea why. It's
like i've heard it before..
ugh, i can't recall where.

It's making me sad,
yet i can't seem to get
enough of it. Heh.

I'm incredibly amused
and hypnotized by the
visualization on the
windows media player.

Anyway, check ((this clip))
out if you have the time.
I think it's really touching.
It actually made me tear !
Okayy, maybe it's just me.
I'm a sucker for these. Ha.
It's Japanese though.
Er..actually, i think it's Korean.
Haha. Go figure.

Yay, just 2 more days.
imissYOU. :)

brilliant & ridiculous.

2004-11-14T03:51:00.000+08:00

Walking on the
line between
brilliant & ridiculous.

Sat down after dinner
and made myself a new
layout. It's a lil too plain
but i love it, don't you? :)

Sweets is out of town and
i miss her like mad. :(
..okayy, maybe not that
madly but i miss her LAH.
She called earlier and boy,
am i happy. Yay !

My body's aching so badly
& i'm experiencing a terrible
case of frozen toes & fingers,
i feel like i'm about to crumple.

That's it. I'm hitting the sack
before that happens.

..and loving you seems right.

2004-11-11T20:21:00.000+08:00

Yay, Singapore Idol starting
in a few minute's time so
i'm here for a quickie.

Okayy; that sounded wrong.
Ha. NEVERMIND !

Went to the Esplanade
for the first time today.
Sad ain't I. It was fun and
i enjoyed myself. (:

..and loving you seems right.
iloveYOU !

Beach outing.

2004-11-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

I spent quality and quantity
time with myself today..sat at
the beach like some stone statue
and got rather badly burnt.
THANKS to some shit asses.
!@#%^&* I'm kidding LAH. :)

Well anyway, the same group
of asses got some fantastic
hairdo(s). Dyed, highlighted
and hair extentions. Niceee.
And my GIRLFRIEND, weini
looks oh-so-pretty ! Hahaha !

Why don't we hit restart
and pause it at our favorite parts.
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If i had it my way, i'd turn
the car around and runaway;
just you and i.

Weehee..i'm happy. :))
iloveYOU !

I BITE.

2004-11-08T20:56:00.000+08:00

BACK OFF ;
it's the time
of the month.

I BITE.

I'm serious.
I'm ready
whenever
you are.

I dont give a damn.

2004-11-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

I figured there ain't nothing
interesting for me to blog
bout these days..

Yay, training tomorrow.
Oli tried convincing me
not to go for training since
i'm ill..Yes, it's sucha drag
to have to wake up so early
during holidays..But, i've
missed training a great deal.

I wonder, just how many
cadets would turn up..
Gimme 15 & I'll be thrilled. (:

I hate Avril but i love this song.

I DON'T GIVE ;

Cause I dont give it up
I dont give a damn
What you say about that
You know, I dont give it up
I dont give a damn
What you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry
About some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

Dammit.
Maybe, i do not hate
her that much afterall.

First kiss from me to you.

2004-11-06T01:52:00.000+08:00

Time to do some serious
updating on my blog.
Here's some bits & pieces
if you're really keen to know.

I'm sick yet rather happy.
Today was loads of fun but
i have to watch what i blog.
We watched Boys don't cry,
Scary movie 1 & 3. (:

FWOOOSH !

Okayy, inside joke.

Whatever really. Eeks.

Spin it ;

Was I out of my head?
Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever
been so blind?
I was waiting for
an indication.
It was hard to find..

I'm happy yes ? But i'm not
exactly in the sharing mood.

"Say i'm CUTE" ,
she says. So here goes,
Oh, you're SO cute.

Falling for you. (:

2004-11-02T17:01:00.000+08:00

I wanna watch Sharktale !

It's still too soon to call
it love but i know it's
more than just a crush.

:)

Candy candy sky.

2004-11-01T21:36:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy !
Weeheee..
I want candy floss
again ! :)

Screw the curfew.

2004-10-31T15:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was fun aye !
I won't elaborate though.

Okayy, i've a new curfew;

6:30 PM. How fantastic.
Early curfews in the holidays.
I am so amused. :(

Well, my fault i guess.
She won't read but..
I'm sorry.

Ebony & Golfball

2004-10-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

I got myself 2 fishy(s)
today to keep my ~~lonely~~
goldfish company ! :)

* My angelfish became
an angel LAH.

Anyway, introducing;
Ebony and Golfball !

Well, as their names suggest,
Ebony's a black beauty and
Golfball looks like a Golf ball
literally. Silly yet adorable
threesome of swimming blobs.

Math?

2004-10-27T01:36:00.000+08:00

I did some math today;

39 more days to my bday,

66 more days to 2005.

HEH. (:

Everyone has the right

to be stupid and you are

abusing your privileges.

Lover i don't have to love.

2004-10-25T04:48:00.000+08:00

Boy, i can't sleep !
Maybe, i haven't been

trying hard enough. Hmmms.

I picked you out of a crowd

& talked to you. Said I liked

your shoes, you said,

"Thanks, Can I follow you?"

I want a lover,

I don't have to love.

One night stand.

2004-10-24T02:10:00.000+08:00

A whole new look. :)

"Every morning there's
a halo hanging from the
corner of my girlfriend's
four post bed..I know it's
not mine but I'll see if
I can use it for the weekend
or a one-night stand."

Mm hm goes e little green frog.

2004-10-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

Little Green Frog

Mm hm goes the little
green frog one day
Mm hm goes the little
green frog
Mm hm goes the little
green frog one day
And they all go mm hm wah !
And all the frogs go (Clap)
Sha la la la la (3x)
And all the frogs go (Clap)
Sha la la la la
And they all go mm hm wah !

I LOVE this song !
"Mm hm goes the little
wedgie frog !" :)

Camp wasn't TOO bad.
But my butt hurts.

Changi visit.

2004-10-17T02:56:00.000+08:00

Could it be that the paranormal
is just an attempt of Awareness
to alert us that we are just
dreaming a dream, that we are
dreaming we are a part of?

Retrospective report:

Got my tragus pierced
and kbox session at parkway,
Oli's birthday. After which,
we proceeded to Changi for our

CHEAP THRILL;
Old Changi Hospital.

Ha. I'm not one of those who
are able to 'see' or 'sense' stuffs
but whatever, it was fun ! :)

I guess for me, it's the thrill of
walking in this dark, abandoned
hospital; a sure place to associate
paranormalities with.

Dark, spooky and no end..

"If you are thinking of visiting the
hospital in the hope of bumping into
a spirit of any nature, go with 2 or 3 friends.
If you go beyond that, you will never see it
as they are all hiding behind the window
pane or the back of the door WATCHING
you. But of course, you can go there
alone, however you will never
find yourself ALONE."

Heh. the power of words.
Anyway, i won't reveal much of what
actually took place but here's the cool
part; after our 2nd trip up, the SPIs -
Singapore Paranormal Investigators
came ! (Haha, i got really excited here.)
Well, thinking we have company,
we followed them up for a 3rd tour..
but they explored the level we
already did and nothing more. Boring.

Spooky it may have been, it's all
in the name of fun and i haven't got
enough of it yet. I'm really looking
forward to going back there..and
actually exploring upstairs, the
mortuary, which is said to still have
blood stains on its floor. Yikes.
Better still, the whole of it.

Anyone ? :)

BIRTHDAY OLI. (:

2004-10-16T01:11:00.000+08:00

My baby (( phone )) fell
and it's now CCRAZZY ! :(
The speaker's like what
shit quality. Screw it.

I'm gonna cry myself to sleep.

Before i proceed to do that,
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
OLI GIRLFRIEND ! :))

I <33 you so very very
muchie ! (( Yeah right ! ))

Done.

Now to cry myself to sleep.

A1, nothing less.

2004-10-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

There goes my A1 for art.
BUt what the hell anyway,
it's OVER ! All over ! :D
Here's a 'sneak preview' of it
for those who might be interested.
M-18 though. Nudity. Ha.

((My main focus.))

And here's one of Denise
sleeping so soundly...

((Rock a bye Baby..))

I wonder if she'd flip when
she sees this picture..HAHA !

I'm in the mood for picture
blogging today so here's
one more; Bertie Bott's Beans !

I WANT ! Check out the FLAVOURS
man..Cool or what ?

Screw your sore prick.

2004-10-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

Just ONE more paper to go.

FINALLY. (:

I'm comin' up so you better
get this party started.

I wanna catch Wimbledon !

I did my part; take it or leave it.
I ain't gonna go on my knees and
'sayang' your sore prick.

"Honesty is the best policy."

2004-10-13T02:06:00.000+08:00

I need to thrash some thoughts.
One word to express how i feel;
ARGH !

"Honesty is the best policy."

Cowdung.
The irony of it.

It doesn't seem so at all.
Truth hurts and 'statistics' have
shown the immense dislike for it.

Duct tape my trap, shut me up.
I don't speak no words your
ears aches to hear. I speak with
no attempts to seduce you into
taking in any thoughts i have.
I'm not one who plays the role of
"the dragon that blandishes with
the head and smites with the tail"
though it would've saved my ass
from being burnt so many times.

Anyway, straight to the point,
no saga.

As much as you feel "very vexed,
pissed off and irritated.. " , I feel
equally cheesed off too. It's barely
1 month (?) we restored this friendship
and i'm happy, yes. BUT not when
you start 'warming up' to my friends
and hung out with us everyday.

PS. I'm hoping you don't take
offence in that, i can't think of a
nicer way to get my point across.

I like you. I DO. Enough to call you
a buddy and anything BUT i'm not
one to make familiar with sudden
closeness..like everyday ?

I feel time with my friends are
somehow 'rudely' taken away.
It's either one huge gang or nothing.

Offensive ? No intention.
Admit it; there has never been
a time (since we reconciled) that
we spend time without you gracing
us with your presence. Has there ?

Curse me now..but i refuse to
keep it from you. And i called you,
my dear friend and talked ever so
nicely. I was choking on my pride.
And ? You replied ever so nicely
as well. But what's with it girlfriend;
the talk that delivered NO unhappiness
but so much displeasure in the sms ?
I'm waiting for an explanation. My
comprehension skills sucks 101%.

You're calling for war sweetie..don't.
You know i love you too much.
I expressed in hope you'd understand..
You're evoking too much emotions.

Aint no way no how,
this bullshit can be true.

I hereby swallow my pride,
and i'd compromise with whatever
comes along since i'm the only one
affected. But PLEASE, don't wreck
our friend's birthday. Let's make
it a smashin' one for her..alright ?

I won't take back what i said,
but i can let it be, if you want to.
Or we can both start war and hate
eachother. Whichever you may
choose. I gave a suggestion, the
descision is yours. So long. <3

Help.

2004-10-11T04:03:00.000+08:00

What.
Am i to do.

Made an unsuccessful
attempt to study chemistry;
got tired, hit the sack instead.

Tossed & turned in bed
for so long, i got up and
decided to do my art.

No muse.

Chemistry paper tomorrow
and at least 2 thumbnails
complete with transformation
is expected of me after school.

What a perfect way to
kickstart the week.

Screw it.
It's bad when you
annoy yourself.

A change of layout to
cheer me up.. (:

Right.

The End.

Oli the FUGLY invades.

2004-10-10T01:26:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! Bellina was out wit
her cute crush in the afternoon and
so she's too lethargic to use her fingers.

:)

The one and only cutie's in fronta da
com- Being nice typing fer her. Right
Bell? HEE. She was gushing over her
and her hands were everywhere during
prints-taking.

No hanky panky arh?

Major bonding wit her crush, shopped
around in search of skirts and shirts.
She thought tt was called: "Pei Yang Gan
Qing". The Hokkien Days were back
while listening to parents' talk. Funniest
thing tt happened; dig desperately for
coins and realised tt the skirt was half
priced. Smart WHAT.

Cam flash cracked due to excessive
narcissicism. One more question, Bell's
squeezing her brain juice for tt special
thang on 16th Oct!

Help anyone? *grins

Tone deaf bunch.

2004-10-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

Leandra's THE one man.
Solid, mellow voice which
had enough power to rock
the house down. (:

Christopher on the other
hand screwed up bad.
Then again, whether or
not he sings like a toad,
he stays IN.

Apparently Singapore
chooses cute over solid.
Come on.

Whatever it is, I'm wishing
with all my heart that
Jerry Ong gets the boot
tomorrow night. I'm
prepared to say goodbye
to Jerry "I'm trying to
be Douglas" Ong.

However, given our penchant
for bad-sounding idols,
the results might leave
me flabbergasted. Again.
Think Jeassea.

Sheesh, Singaporeans

are a tone-deaf bunch.
Go figure.

DESIRE.

2004-10-06T01:32:00.000+08:00

I want ;

MORGAN ;
LIGHT MY HEART
fragrance ! :)

These cuts run deep,
these scars are permanent
and always on display.
This makes things difficult for me.

-Alkaline Trio;
i lied my face off

The Black Rose.

2004-10-03T06:25:00.000+08:00

The Black Rose,
a poignant sight.
You, my rose,
will flourish.
Fed by the tears i cry.

My Black Rose,
I love you.
I want no other;
why even bother.

Waterplace fun time!

2004-10-02T01:53:00.000+08:00

Today turned into a
'Fun at any cost' day. :)))
Hawaiian pizza for lunch with
the class, thanks to Mrs Siva.
Children's day present. Haha.
She can be sucha bitch yet simply
a darling at times. <3>Water Place:
Cabbed down to Oli's place
with Elaine, Weini, Ky & Denise.
Boy, we had a SPLASHING good
time ! Hit every pool; the 1.0 slide
pool, the 1.2 BIG pool, jacuzzi & the
circular 1.8 physiotherapy pool.
I've decided that it's my favourite
pool after much evalution.

Oh, and friggin' Weini hit her
toe or smthg whilst in the pool with
me & looked as if she was in a struggle
that precedes death ! Scared the hell
outta me. SHIT YOU ! HAHA.

We played 'Monkey' and water polo
in the BIG pool, complete with goalposts.
Cool yeah ! Spent quality time in
the jacuzzi filling eachother with
earful(s) of complaints, stories,
gossips and much more. :D

'Slide pool' was SUPERB. Went down
in almost every & any positions we
could think of. First, one after another.
Then, ALL at once. HA ! It's a wonder
we all managed to come up with
necks, arms, legs still intact. :)

Denise who stayed dry due
to rashes got dunked in the
last 1/2 an hour. So much for
her attempt to stay DRY. Ha.

To top it off, Oli's mum cooked
us a heavenly pot of Ba kut teh !
Talk about good life.. HEH.

Surfed porn behind locked
door after dinner and found out
that those who appears very
innocent ain't that innocent
afterall ! nudges denise* HAHA.
But really, we were retching upon
seeing those gay sex & what nots.

Aye, my eyes hurts from too much
chlorinated water. I've a feeling i
missed out loads more stuffs but i'm
too tired to carry on. Perhaps Weini's
blog would provide more details ! :)

Broken vow.

2004-09-30T18:53:00.000+08:00

Broken vow;
I fell into my own delirium
of seethe..again.

The things you do are so
close to carcinogenic.
Now, even the mere sight
of you is. Give me a break,
you sick maggots;
leave me alone .

It's days like this i feel i'd
crumple. It's days like this
i know i'm not going to get
better and I wonder if this
place is going to be able to save
me afterall.. I don't know,
i miss so many things.

September has been a terrible
month. Goodbye September,
HELLO October. Now, don't
disappoint me. :)

I am going to visit the nice
people who have nice tight
white jackets and live in rooms
with padded walls. Somebody,
help me find my way back
to sanity again.

Period.

PS. Don't bother messaging me,
my phone got confiscated.

Bell & Weini

2004-09-29T19:16:00.000+08:00

I'm here to pop an entry.
Love this template !
t'was a quickie but i'm
satisfied. :)

I dreamt last night,
Oh marvellous error,
that there were
honeybees in my heart,
making honey out of
my old failures.

.

HELLO ! Its the all-mighty
weini oink here. (:
And I'm thinking of turnin'
straight. How about tht?
Join me on my guy hunt !!

Although a teeny weeny bit
of me is still attracted to the
same sex ! We are looking
forward to swimming this
friday, at oli gf's place !
*WINKS!* everybody come
see me in my new bikini ok ?
IM SERIOUS :D SIGNING OFF,
greatest greatest pretteh !

Correction;
grotesque gruesome petty ass.

That suits her better. :)

Love,
bellyme.

Bad bad snitcher.

2004-09-24T20:20:00.000+08:00

I lost my wallet (?)
And I'm devastated.

Conversation between
Bell and Denise:

Denise: I'm Denise & I'm sad.
Bell: Who wouldn't be if they
were you ?!
Denise: You stupid 'loceng' ?
((It means bell in malayu))
Bell: Denise aka Penise, sucks
BIG time really. I'm here
grieving over the loss of my
wallet and a whole shitload of
cash and crap, but there
she is MOCKING me RIGHT
beside me. PS. Mispell Denise's
name and you'd get Dense.
Which is the epitome of her. (:
Denise: So you think you
very funny is it ?!
scrunches up face*

And..this is how her
'scrunched up' ugly face
looks like. Enjoy ! HAHA.

This helluva girl's a scream.
Idiot. HAHA. But she really
cheered me up !

To thine own self be true.

2004-09-20T23:25:00.000+08:00

I hit my phone against
the sink just now !

WAAAAAAAH ! :'(
there's a teeny weeny chip
at the top left corner now.
Sniffles*

Anyway, things have
really been hitting the
fan here today.

I'll add up the numbers
but they can't surpass the
equations of mixed feelings
i'm experiencing at this
point in time.

To put nicely, it's Naivete;
the quality or state of being
naive. But in other prospect,
it can be looked upon as
Stupidity too.

Naivety + Stupidity
never made a good
combination. The results
are almost always negative.
This time i feel both.

To thine own self be true.

Pris emailed. (:

2004-09-15T15:00:00.000+08:00

Raise a brow & look at me;
i love the word 'intimately'.
HAHA. It holds deep meaning.

I'm happy, happy, happy !
Yes, i'm all smiles.

A simple email made my
day. I'm on cloud 9 now.

Sing to me.

2004-09-12T06:43:00.000+08:00

I feel incredibly annoyed.

Let's sidetrack a lil before
i go into details. I found
a new love !

Chad Michael Murray !

Is he charming or what.
Gorgeously adorable. :)

Okayy, now back to the
main topic;

I got my phone yes, but it
really defeats the purpose
of having a marvelous
phone when i, being a
dunce, haven't the slightest
clue how to install the software
that comes along with it.

On the other hand, i think
it's the comp. Whatever
it is, i'm really annoyed.
I can't upload/transfer files
to/from my phone and
it's really wrecking me.

Somebody help ?

I'm swamped down with a
shitload of homework due on
monday and i just wasted
precious 3 hrs figuring out
that complex software crap.

For now;
I need someone to sing me
to sleep. :)